【学生习作节选】
Nowadays, a increasing number of people concerned about the enhancement of public services. However, whether the government should allocate fund to public services other than waste money on arts is controversial issue. In my view, public service are vital to our life, but spending money on arts is definitely not just waste money.
不看不知道,一看吓一跳!这短短3句话共53词的开头段里,密布着8处语法错误,这在雅思写作评分标准中的 “语法准确性”一条上自然会大打折扣。
下面我们就挨个来八一八这些看似微小,但却决定了雅思写作成败的细节问题,也请各位烤鸭对号入座!
【细节一】冠词的使用
1. 原文:Nowadays, a increasing number ofpeople...
诊断:元音单词increasing前的不定冠词应用an而不是a。这样的错误在口语中不容易犯,但写到纸上时就容易忽视。所以说,写完的作文不仅要重看,更要“重读”,才能借助语感揪出这样的小错误。
修改:Nowadays, an increasing number ofpeople...
2. 原文:However, whether the government... on arts is controversial issue.
诊断:issue是可数名词,但这里既没有用冠词又不是复数,显然是有问题的。
修改:However, whether the government... on arts is a controversial issue.
【细节二】名词单复数
3. 原文:However, whether the government should allocate fund to public services ...
诊断:fund表示政府拨款的“资金”,此处应该使用复数,表示多笔拨款。
修改:However,whether the government should allocate funds topublic services ...
4. 原文:In my view, public service are vitalto our life, but...
诊断:句子主语public service与谓语are不一致,主语是单数,而谓语是复数用法。此处public services泛指“公共服务”,应用复数。
修改:In my view, public services are vitalto our life, but...
【细节三】动词词组用法
5. 原文:Nowadays, increasing number of people concernedabout the enhancement of public services.
诊断:动词词组be concernedabout...表示“对……关注”。但这句话中使用时漏掉了be动词,导致整个句子语法错误。
修改:Nowadays, increasing number of people are concerned about the enhancement of public services.
注:中括号内单词表示已在原文中修改的错误。下同。
【细节四】近似用法混淆
6. 原文:However, whether the government should allocate fund to publicservices other than waste...
诊断:考生原本想用的应该是rather than,表示“而不是”,却错误地写成了形式类似的other than,表示“除了……之外”,整句话的意思就改变了。
修改:However,whether the government should allocate fund to public services rather than waste...
【细节五】非谓语动词用法
7. 原文:However, whether... to public services than waste money on arts is...
诊断:ratherthan是介词,后面可接名词或动名词形式,但此处考生错误地接了动词原形。
修改:However,whether... to public services than wasting money on arts is...
8. 原文:In my view... but spending money on arts is definitely not just waste money.
诊断:考生想表达“在艺术上投资绝不仅仅是浪费金钱”,但却错误地用动词原形waste作表语,暴露了基本功不扎实的问题
修改:In myview... but spending money on arts is definitely not just wasting money.
注:除了动名词之外,其他几种非谓语动词——动词不定式、现在分词、过去分词等,也是写作中的重头戏。如果用得好自然锦上添花,但这些往往也是最容易出错的部分。
【总结】
看完以上错误分析,是不是深刻体会到了“The devil is in the details”这句话的内涵?
所谓细节决定成败。要想在雅思写作中收获高分,除了玩转各种酷炫的观点和行文技巧,更要留心语法细节,不要让这些小错误毁了你的雅思写作!
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